Falling

“Sooner or later, if you are on any classic "spiritual schedule," some event, person, death, idea, or relationship will enter your life that you simply cannot deal with, using your present skill set, your acquired knowledge, or your strong willpower.” 

-Richard Rohr

 
I am not sure about you but I have faced a crossroads multiple times in my life. In every instance, I learned so much about myself and others in the most painful ways. Just like many, I grew up trying to do everything perfectly and when I did fail shame, from myself and others always ended up taking me out.

 
"Freedom is not worth having if it does not include the freedom to make mistakes." -Mahatma Gandhi

I was raised in a conservative Christian religious communities and the primary way that they keep people in line is through shame. When expectations are not met, and inevitably I would fail, I was shunned, shamed  or called mentally ill. This kept me in a shame spiral that would keep that negative self-talk alive in my head and with no real tools for dealing with that amount of pain I would ultimately end up in some form of self-destructive behavior.

'Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it.' -Salvador Dali

In the last few years, I have learned a few things that have helped me understand that first I am not broken or a fundamentally flawed human.
Not only is failure part of this human experience, it actually can help us grow in empathy, humility, and wisdom.

 
'We learn from failure, not from success!" -Bram Stoker

If we are willing to be open-minded and vulnerable with the right people we not only can begin to heal those wounds that keep us trapped but we can have a joyful life that we are proud of and be of service to others.
No matter how far down we believe we are, there is hope.

 
"We all make mistakes, have struggles, and even regret things in our past. But you are not your mistakes, you are not your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future." -Steve Maraboli

We have to stop running, get honest with ourselves, and get to work!