10 Oct

Recognizing fear and just allowing it to be without a huge story is progress for me. .. it's not good or bad, it just is. 

Fear comes disguised in many forms. This week it has come in the form of anxiety and scratching that got me to see that I'm in fear of the future. So many things are outta my control right now and it's scary as hell.  So do I get to work on fixing all the sources of fear or do I recognize what I'm feeling as fear, say ok fear you'reb here now what? I felt stuck yesterday and the weight of the fear was crushing me but I sat with it until the afternoon. Not making myself out to be broken or wrong because I have fear, I am just letting it be. 

I am continuing my morning meditation, prayers and readings, they are probably the most consistent thing in my life these days. 

I don't want to ever go back to a life lived in fear. Putting one foot in front of the other, staying present and watching my thoughts is the way I'm finding peace this week.

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